5 Things to Review if you have Lost Your Compassion

Practice Compassion

I was chatting with a colleague last week and we were talking about a difficult situation for someone in their relationship. Her comment was “and she still stayed [in the relationship]?” This comment struck a chord with me as we can often lack compassion with our colleagues, team members, and direct reports.

Can you remember a time in your life when you needed more understanding and compassion than you received? If yes, then you know how challenging and even debilitating that can be.

So why is it that we may exhibit a lack of compassion?

  1. We may be experiencing burnout and no longer have capacity for kindness and caring. Perhaps we’ve forgotten to make ourselves a priority, or life has been challenging. If this is you, go to your calendar and schedule some “me time” with an activity that is fun and recharging for you. It may be a vacation, a session with your business coach, or therapist. Or simply going to a funny movie and allow yourself to laugh. Make yourself a priority.
  2. We need more information to understand another’s perspective. As humans, we see things from our point of view and we can fall into making assumptions based on our lives and what would or wouldn’t be okay for us. It is helpful to ask yourself is there is another way of seeing this situation that I’m overlooking? Or, if you have the relationship with the person, sit down and ask more questions with genuine curiosity to gain a bigger perspective.
  3. Perhaps you have fallen into “judgment mode.”  You see that, from your perspective, the other person has made a bad choice or engaged in a bad behaviour. While this may be true, you would be well served to ask yourself “What might have happened for me to make a similar decision?” While you may not agree with the person’s decision, having compassion for their situation is still an option and can help to build understanding and a deeper relationship.
  4. We’re caught up in our own values. When we perceive that someone is crossing our values, our core beliefs get triggered, and we can become emotionally unavailable. Subconsciously, you might be trying to protect those values that are near and dear to you. We all have different values, and understanding and appreciating each other’s values is respecting one another.
  5. Poor or unclear boundaries. When we aren’t clear on what our boundaries are, or we haven’t taken the time to be clear about them with others. Reflect on what your boundaries need to be and share this information in a clear, calm manner. When we feel like people are railroading us, we need to stand up for what we need and ask for their respect.

Whatever might be causing your slip of compassion, take some time to reflect and look at what you need to do to shift from judgment to understanding. When we really understand each other, we can create meaningful work relationships and support one another more fully.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>