Can Questions Help You Shift Your Inner Critic?

inner judger

We’ve all experienced that pesky inner voice that can drive our motivation down the toilet. You know the voice within that says things like, “How could I have been so stupid”, “I don’t have what it takes”, “What was I thinking?”, “I can’t do this”, etc. This is our inner “judger” voice and can shift us from a can do to never can do attitude.

I’ve recently read Marilee Adams book, “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life” where she shares her Choice Map – it’s a simple and profound way to shift from inner judger to inner learner. While our judger (which she states we are all recovering from) shuts us down, our inner “learner” mindset creates energy as we start to ask kinder, more inspired questions. Things like, “What assumptions am I making?” or “What can I learn from this situation?” or “What’s the outcome that I desire?”

As always, it starts with awareness. Begin to notice what it feels like in your body when your judger is alive and well. When you notice the tension in your body, rather than beating yourself (or others) up, ask yourself, “What are the questions that I need to ask to better understand the situation?” It can be helpful to ask, “What don’t I know about this situation that I need to discover?” or, “What am I not seeing here?”

So next time you’re stuck in criticism and judgment, take a deep breath or two and then begin to seek questions that help to reframe the situation, experience the shift in your energy and use it to create an even better outcome. What the quality of your work life and your relationships soar.

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