I Forgive You

July 18 - I forgive you

 

An Uncommon Team Dynamics Solution

 

We’ve all had those times when we felt that someone on the team, or perhaps our direct manager, did something that created difficulty for us – and sometimes we feel that they did it on purpose!

During a recent team dynamics session with a client, it came out that his direct manager had not supported him in the way that he really needed and wanted over 6 years ago. He had not directly spoken to his manager in regards to this situation and was holding onto deep resentment about the situation. As a result, the working relationship between the individual and manager was highly stressed. And because of the lack of direct communication about this perceived injustice, the manager was unable to assist him through the situation.

My approach was to encourage him to forgive his manager because:

  1. Holding onto resentment was only holding him back, creating his stress and having a negative impact on his health. It is said that holding onto anger for 1 hour will impact your immune system negatively for 4 hours.
  2. The relationship between him and his Manager would never improve until he spoke directly with her and worked through the situation.
  3. Thirdly, his resentment was preventing him from having the success he desired.

Many of you may be thinking that forgiveness doesn’t belong in the workplace. However, in my experience, holding onto resentment has a negative impact on not only the relationship with the person who “wronged” you but the entire team dynamic.

Forgiveness is actually a selfish process. It happens when we decide that we no longer want the other person to “rent space for free in our heads” and choose to let go. Steps to forgiveness include fully acknowledge to yourself all the emotions you have attached to the situation, and how this has impacted you. The next step is to look at how holding onto these emotions is restricting you from moving forward and having peace in the situation. The next step is to make a decision to let go of these emotions while understanding that each person did the best with what they knew at the moment that the original issue ensued (even if they were wrong in your humble opinion). And finally, stating to yourself “I release you and set you free. You are free and I am free” while allowing the emotions to leave your body fully.

While forgiveness is a selfish process and allows you to move forward to even better things, it can also open up energy for a new and better relationship with the other person(s) involved. So give yourself the gift of freedom and fully explore how you can forgive that other person today!

To peace, success, and fulfillment,
Sylvia

 

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